Taking a seasonal break, in the meantime here's one from the vault first posted in October 2012. See you in the New Year.
The idea that the more words used
the clearer the meaning becomes is one that trips up a lot of writers.
Not that additional details are
always a bad thing, but the ‘a little more information couldn’t hurt’ approach
is very definitely wrong. It can very much hurt.
If I want to visit you then there
is a minimum amount of info (street and house number), and an optimum amount (best
route, which exit to take) that I need. And then there’s an excessive amount (the name of
your neighbour’s dog).
On the other hand, what
difference does it make if you mention the neighbour’s dog? It’s not going to
make the address harder to find.
This is usually where a story
gets muddled, even though what it’s telling you isn’t hard to understand. It’s
not that you can’t use language to paint a picture or a mood, but you also need
to be aware that words on a page have an effect that has nothing to do with
their literal meaning. Words have the power to impact readers on a more primal
level.
The number of words used to
impart an idea or description, the length of sentences and of paragraphs, can
all change the way words enter a reader’s brain. You can use this knowledge to
create different effects, but the effects will also be there even when you
don’t mean them.
If you are unaware of what these
effects are, you can end up unconsciously creating a reading experience you did
not intend. And not all experiences are good experiences.
Short sentences, short
paragraphs, lots of white space on the page, speeds things up. It can be choppy
and lack flow if used to excess, but generally that won’t cause too much
problem for a reader.
Long sentences can be lyrical and
evocative. But the instinctual reaction is to assume more words equals more
important. If your aim is only to describe something clearly, you can’t relate
that to the reader just by thinking it while you write.
If June is going to a party and I
want the reader to know what she looks like in her new outfit I might take my
time describing each item of clothing. But it’s also going to have other
effects.
The longer I go on, the more
important clothing is going to seem to this woman. The clothes may also start
to carry an implication that later they will play a part in the story. Thematically,
clothes and other features of her outfit (the colours, the style, the language
used) will be assumed to be important to what follows.
If these things are intentional,
that’s fine. But if they aren’t, it’ll still be assumed that they are. And if
that isn’t followed through, the story will be judged as a failed attempt at
something that was never intended.
As well as importance, number of
words also correlates to time. This is not optional, it always happens.
“Where are you going?” asked James.
Karen turned around. Her hair was lank and unwashed. She was wearing
the same t-shirt, the green one that said ‘I’m with this idiot’ with an arrow
pointing up at herself, and the same jeans as the day before. Her nails were
filthy.
“Nowhere,” she said.
No matter what my intention, that
will be read as a pause between question and answer. If my intention is to let
the reader know what Karen looks like, but the conversation to be without
break, that’s not how it will be read.
And the longer the stuff between question and answer, the longer the
pause. Even if it’s possible for James to take in her appearance in a single,
quick glance, that’s immaterial. How long I take to tell you what he sees
instantly will be what the reader uses to judge the passage of time (unless I
specifically point out that James saw all the things described in an instant).
This becomes a big deal when
writers choose to use a heavily descriptive style. It’s not just about purple
prose or claiming literary fiction as a defence, but about placement and
structure. If people are pausing for minutes at a time in between a basic
conversation, or thinking encyclopaedia-length thoughts as they walk from the
sitting room to the kitchen, it’s going to feel weird and unrealistic. And very
slow.
Equally, if you use very short sentences in a scene that’s not very tense, you’re going to create a rushed, urgent feel.
The point here isn’t that there’s
anything wrong with slowing things down or speeding them up, but more that
often writers will not put any thought into the choice other than going with
whatever takes their fancy. If you feel like writing a long paragraph painting
a picture of the sky, why not? And the answer is because your characters are in
the middle of a gunfight, and that’s not the best time to write 500 words on
the colour blue.
It’s not always possible to be
aware of these things when you are in full flow and trying to get an early
draft completed, but when going over a piece of writing it’s worth considering the
amount of text you’re giving to detailed description and action sequences in
order to gauge whether the pacing and focus on events is appropriate to what’s
happening in the scene.
If you found this post of use, please give it a retweet. Cheers.
11 comments:
Sometimes it's good to be a minimalist when it comes to words.
I've seen some long descriptions in action sequences and it really slows down the scene.
Great advice!!
@Alex - the right word is usually better than a lot of words.
@Trace - thanks.
I wish somehow everyone would follow this advice. I've seen dialogue with thoughts or description in between and I hate it. I forget what the conversation is about with so many interruptions. And God save me from the long useless descriptions. I often can't take even the medium useless descriptions. Then again, as reader I'm impatient with descriptions.
Excellent post. I've actually been told I'm too sparse with words. But I prefer a minimalist approach. Have a great holiday!
Cheers...see you in January
I've learned a lot about word usage by writing flash fiction. I definitely need a reminder and the final huge cut and slash at the end of everything I write though.
shahwharton.com
I remember this post. I kept it in my "good advice" folder. Have a good break.
@Al - I think it's up to the writer how to pace the story, but they need to be aware of what effect each approach will have, which I think often they don't.
@Murees - cheers.
@Mac - here's to a good 2015 (still feels like the future in a scifi movie)
@Shah - shorter stories really help hone writing.
@LD - hope it was useful.
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