A short series looking at how to
approach revisions. Part 3: Seeds need water, water needs seeds.
So far we’ve looked at tweaking the
start and end (where information tends to bunch up), and making sure characters
have identifiable story-world reasons for what they’re doing.
Another element worth looking at
early on is establishing the tone. Not the overall tone of the story, I’m talking
about the tone of each scene. The specific tone I’m talking about is one that
indicates this will be a story worth reading.
Each scene in the story will be
responsible for getting the reader to move on to the next. In early drafts
scenes will often veer toward the functional. The tone is neutral. You’re
establishing facts, this person is going here, the other person is staying put.
You may have good reason for arranging your characters and moving them around,
and you may feel it’s realistic to have them behave in a fairly low key manner.
But the interactions are flat.
“You going out?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, see you later.”
The above exchange is very
different to this one:
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
It’s very easy to convince
yourself your character don’t speak that way, or aren’t in that kind of a place
emotionally. Neutral is reflective of their state of mind, of the state of the
story at this point.
But it’s not about forcing a particular
attitude on your characters, it’s just being aware of what the current attitude
is and if it’s beneficial to your story.
I can change the above scene to
this:
“You’re going out wearing a kilt?”
Or
“Can you bring me back some weed, son?”
Or
“You’re going on a date? Someone agreed to date you? Someone call CNN!”
Or
“Home by eleven or you’re grounded for a week.”
And so on. Each version sets a
different tone. How I express that tone can be finessed over several drafts.
What I want that tone to be is something that should be known as early in the
process as possible.
I’ve intentionally used non-melodramatic
examples above (“You can’t go out, the
mafia have put a hit out on us!”) to show I’m not talking about increasing
the stakes or raising danger levels. That approach does work, but should be
used because it fits the kind of story you’re telling.
If Jeff Jefferson, retired Navy SEAL,
is called backed to active duty to rescue the President’s daughter (because
he’s the best!), then it’s in your story’s interest to explore highly dramatic
options.
If Louise Fenkle fancies the photocopier
repairman, probably not a lot of jumping through windows required (unless, of
course, that repairman’s real name is Jeff Jefferson).
Once you have a first draft with
a character who gets from A to B, with each chapter forming part of that
journey, how those chapters change and become more complicated is a long
process that will happen over many drafts. But after that first draft, it’s
worth going through each scene and asking some basic questions to make sure the
core elements are present.
1. What is the problem between these characters? Is there some indication
of that problem?
Even if the characters are great
friends or loving family members, showing perfection is dull. Showing some
underlying tension, whether it’s aggressive or humorous or whatever, brings
things to life. Doesn’t have to be screaming and shouting.
2. What is working against the character in this scene?
Even the simplest tasks, like
making a sandwich or catching a bus, can be made entertaining by introducing an
opposing force into the mix. Doesn’t have to be a big thing. Unexpected or
unusual events are also goods way of catching the reader’s attention.
3. Is there a question posed by the end of the scene?
It’s not enough for you to know
there’s still stuff to do, the reader has to have a feeling of that in the
text. I don’t mean cliffhangers (although they’re fine if you have them). I
mean a sense of what it is the characters need to do next. A lot of aspiring
writers have the knowledge in their head and they forget no one else has. It needs
to be on the page.
If you can put these three
elements into each scene, then those scenes will only get better with each revision.
Mind you, chucking someone out of a window might not be such a bad idea either.
If you found this post useful please give it a retweet. Cheers.
Next Monday, the return of my Chapter One series where I look at the opening chapter of a popular novel to see how good writers start stories (usually not how agents and publishers suggest — weird huh?).
17 comments:
Since I will be diving into revisions soon, I appreciate this!
This was great. Looking forward to next week's post as well. I attended Orson Scott Card's writing class earlier this year and it sounds like what you'll be pointing out might be just what he said.
Thanks for the posts. I forgive you for making me wait a full week between each. ;-)
I think you should write a full-fledged story about Jeff Jefferson, copier repairman by day, Navy SEAL hero by night! :-P
In all seriousness, this is another great post. Thanks for these posts, especially since I'm delving into revisions of my own right now.
@Alex-and I appreciate you!
@Jeff-me and Orson, like two peas in a pod.
@Grace-The Ddventures of Agent Xerox will be on the shelves soon.
Always great advice, Moody! Tweeted it!
@nancy-cheers, and thanks for the tweet.
I think when you start exploring your Chapter One's, that you should look at some authors that may not have sold so many books, but who are undoubtedly amazing authors. J.M. Coetzee and William Faulkner come to mind.
I will remember the chucking a person out the window option...
I've been following this series of articles on writing with great interest. They're full of insight and advice for experienced writers as well as beginners Thanks for a great series.
@michael-I'm constantly looking for authors to do Ch1 analysis on. The main criteria is finding ones where I can think of something to say.
@Lydia-only as a last resort. Or for the fun of it.
@Mary-thanks, nice of you to say.
I love this series, Moody. Perfect for me since I'm about to dig in and start my next round of revisions!
Nutschell
www.thewritingnut.com
Tone is very important. Thanks for the reminder.
@nutschell-good luck!
@kathi-my pleasure.
This post is wonderful, cause I am doing another round of revision. Plus, I will also keep it in mind for my next WIP.
@Rachna-cheers, gald to be of help.
Great tips on the writing process in "After The First Draft: Part 3"! As someone who has dealt with chronic disease, I appreciate resources that can help me navigate life's challenges. Speaking of resources, Meri Sehat's online medical services have been an invaluable tool in managing my health and wellness.
I enjoyed reading the "After the First Draft: Part 3" post and appreciated the author's insights on the writing process. Speaking of drafts, Ittehad Textile's lawn suits are always drafted to perfection, featuring beautiful prints and high-quality fabrics. Their commitment to sustainability and ethical production is truly commendable. Let's support companies that make a positive impact!